Synopsis:
A group of U.S. Army soldiers determined to take more home from Desert Storm than their suntans, go off to liberate some stolen Kuwaiti gold, but end up helping the locals escape Sadam.

Review:
This movie blew big time. Why? Because it’s nothing but a mish-mash of other, more original films. That’s why.

3 Kings starts off like Kelly’s Hero’s (a great movie, I highly recommend it) then it turns into Red Scorpion (I don’t recommend or endorce this movie in any way, shape, or form) for a while, only to end off with the ending from Air America (any movie that has Asians singing in Engilsh is worth watching).

And what’s with the title of this movie? There’s four guys looking for the gold, not three (please don’t write to point out that Spike Jones sings about it in the beginning, because all four guys were there when he sings his song).

Additionally, I didn’t much care for the “changing film stock effect” throughout this movie. I know it was done for artistic purposes, but it just looked like shit. Spend more time on the story next time jag-offs; let Kodak worry about the film.

A special note to Becks (a friend of Zorbs and I who volunteered to do this review): Thanks a fucking bunch. I had to watch this shity movie 3 fucking times because you failed to deliver the goods. What was that? Did someone just blow smoke up my ass? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Look, no hands!

Special Features :
For a shitty movie this disc sure has a lot of features on it (thanks again Becks).

The first commentary track (featuring director David O. Russell) was boring. Mr. Russell gave all the usual commentary insight, but the movie blew, so it did nothing for me. The second C-track (with the 2 producers) was a little livelier. They talk more about putting the 3 Kings together than the actual movie.

The production notes weren’t that bad (if that kinda stuff turns your crank). The behind the scenes documentary wasn’t that bad either (but the movie still sucks). The “Tour of the Iraqi village set” was interesting from a "set design" point of view, but then again who really gives a flying fuck? Not I.

The director’s video journal was actually worth watching (which surprised the fuck outta me). But I didn’t much care for the deleted scenes or the director of photography interview.

The “Inside the acting process with Ice Cube” was my favourite feature on the disc. I think all budding-thespians should check this out, it’s quite deep.

The “special photography” looked like normal photography to me. Did I miss something here? Oh well.

Last, but not least, the obligatory trailer. Didn’t like the movie, didn’t like the trailer.

Did I mention that I didn’t like this movie?

Video and Audio:
It’s hard to tell if the video quality was good or not because they kept changing the film stock. I didn’t see any major problems though. 5.1, fuck off.

“Good afternoon. Would this be the proctology tent?” – George Clooney

-Nicky Eyes